With a serious case of insomnia (less than two hours of sleep), i made a stupid list last night. In my short life of twenty one years, i have loved two men, and liked four of them. Although some would say that its two completely different concept, i believe that there's a very thin line between these two. No black or white; just a gray parallel world. I tend to recover after a few hours of letting myself go on these train of thoughts. It's all a matter of healing.
Individual number one: Everything was pure and pubescent. Little did I know, we lived in a very small world. I was way to young to "get it". You did, however, made me see that boys were more than just cooties and that scrapped knees were easier to mend than having your heart broken.
Individual number two: Your name deserve to be in a dictionnary next to the word "Whore". I have liked you for all the wrong reasons. You looked good in a turtle neck and your cologne was hypnotic. It would be unfair if i blame you entirely. I had a major turning point in my life and it just so happens that you were there. At sixteen, you're far from being a woman. I am still not one.
Individual number three: It was never a matter of physical attraction with you. You had a glow and a goal that you strive for. You had a liberal way of thinking and you were never afraid to let people know that. But with time, your ego took over and i had my priorities. To be honest, i don't even know what happened. I hate everything that doesn't have a clear ending. Ambiguity is not sexy, or is it?
Individual number four: The concept of forever and always applies to you. You are the quintessence of simplicity, the epitome of my plain existence. There were more highs than lows; those are the moments that never falters and that i deeply cherish the most. Everyone can see that we're perfect, even the stars seems to agree. I do mean it when i say that i am worth the risk. I'd also like to believe i have played my cards right. But you, are you ready to go all in?
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