What Do You Want to Do Before You Die?

Watching The Buried Life got me inspired in writing a list of my own of the things i would want to do before i die.

- Write/publish a book.
- Own a Hermès "Birkin" bag.
- Do humanitarian work abroad.
- Go on a hot air balloon ride.
- Swim with sharks.
- Build a house for my parents.
- Build an orphanage/school in Cambodia.
- Open a bakery/tea house.
- Meet the Queen of England.
- Be at two places at once.
- Party with Marc Jacobs.
- Roadtrip across North America.
- Sex on the beach
- Send a message in a bottle.
- Walk the red carpet.
- Attending NYFW.
- Share a midnight kiss on New Years Eve.
- Attend the biggest event in the world.
- Be a wife, a mother and a grandmother.

What do you want to do before you die?

Fall Makes Me Want To Wear These

Dries Van Noten

Celine

Chloé

Blair Waldorf

"I'm not a stop along the way. I'm a destination."

WORD.

Rotation

With a serious case of insomnia (less than two hours of sleep), i made a stupid list last night. In my short life of twenty one years, i have loved two men, and liked four of them. Although some would say that its two completely different concept, i believe that there's a very thin line between these two. No black or white; just a gray parallel world. I tend to recover after a few hours of letting myself go on these train of thoughts. It's all a matter of healing.

Individual number one: Everything was pure and pubescent. Little did I know, we lived in a very small world. I was way to young to "get it". You did, however, made me see that boys were more than just cooties and that scrapped knees were easier to mend than having your heart broken.

Individual number two: Your name deserve to be in a dictionnary next to the word "Whore". I have liked you for all the wrong reasons. You looked good in a turtle neck and your cologne was hypnotic. It would be unfair if i blame you entirely. I had a major turning point in my life and it just so happens that you were there. At sixteen, you're far from being a woman. I am still not one.

Individual number three: It was never a matter of physical attraction with you. You had a glow and a goal that you strive for. You had a liberal way of thinking and you were never afraid to let people know that. But with time, your ego took over and i had my priorities. To be honest, i don't even know what happened. I hate everything that doesn't have a clear ending. Ambiguity is not sexy, or is it?

Individual number four: The concept of forever and always applies to you. You are the quintessence of simplicity, the epitome of my plain existence. There were more highs than lows; those are the moments that never falters and that i deeply cherish the most. Everyone can see that we're perfect, even the stars seems to agree. I do mean it when i say that i am worth the risk. I'd also like to believe i have played my cards right. But you, are you ready to go all in?

To you and all of you; I would like to dedicate this song.

WANTWANTWANT

Worth The Risk

So the conversation went like so:

Friend: You can never be ready.

Me: You think so?

F: Don't you agree? In life you can never be ready or sure about yourself. It's all about taking the risk and get a hold of your chance while you have it. We make decisions; good or bad but we learn from them. Therefore there's no such thing as being 100% sure about yourself. What's the whole point of growing into loving a person if you have already polish the relationship, making no places for the flaws especially when you're not exclusive? Those type of relationship will never work.

Me: I agree. Are you happy though?

F: I am. Although, i have to admit it happen really quick. I don't regret it.

Me: What made you change your mind?

F: I had a feeling that i was loosing her and i hated it. I can see that she was tired of waiting, almost like she was wasting her time and that she was slowly letting go. So, i decided to step up my game. Like i said, i wasn't ready for it but i just couldn't stand the idea of not having her in my life anymore. Now that it's official, i don't regret it at all.

I Miss You

Mid-June, the year 2000. School just ended and summer had officially started. My friend E was having her birthday/pool party in her backyard. I remember having the time of my life that day. Not only i got to go to the most talked about party in the 5th grade (E was the queen bee of 5th graders), but i also got to dance my very FIRST slow dance with a BOY to my favorite song of all time: I Miss You by Westlife.

Sigh. I don't even know when i'll be able to slow dance again. The last time i slow dance was during prom. Its quite impossible to do so nowadays when in clubs the classic concept of the hands-on-shoulder/hands-on-waist and the twirl disappeared.

That being said, my one wish is to relive that moment; dance to this song again. The reminiscent 5th grader in me is talking (lol)

On-Demand

I remember back then, I was one of those who would spend their Saturday nights at home, watching over-the-top cheesy romantic comedies, eating ice cream in my pjs and day dream about my knight in shinning armor. I was that girl. That girl who looked for love. Not the far-fetched, Korean drama, fairytale kind of love (although i am a dreamer). I looked for the kind of love that would make you smile at the slightest mention of his/her name; the kind of love that gets the best out of you because to his/her eyes, you're special. The kind of love that is real and time consuming. That kind of love. Sadly, i have not encountered that yet. All i got, in the past, from the guys that i was interested in was "I like you...but as a friend." Til this day, that line is like acid to me. Ok, I don't want to sound like i'm bragging, but i think i'm the epitome of the "perfect girlfriend" (please do not burst my bubble, thankyouverymuch!). Seriously, dudes out there would be hella lucky to have me in their life. Down to earth, loving, patient, smart, understanding, knows how to cook and to please the parents...I mean, what more can you ask for?! -sigh- Anyways, that is not my point. My point is, lately, I have tried to focus on some more important issues in my life. Putting aside the unnecessary stuff and start a cleansing process...but that took a surprising turn. I learned that things just happens when you least expect it and they ALL come at the same time. It's hard to describe, so i'd rather present to you the individuals per say.

Exhibit A: The musician

I met him in one of my evening classes last year. We didn't really talk the first semester. All i remember is that he stood out of all the people there because he had a particular style; sort of like Zac Efron meets Kurt Cobain. Quite frankly, you would get the impression that he's dumb because of the way he looks...WRONG! He was the straight A student in that class and the guy spits poetry outta his mouth every time he talks. I was dumbfounded and even more surprised to see him in one of my classes again the following semester. This time, I sat behind him in that class. We started talking when we were paired for a team assignment and since that day, we bonded really well. We had a lot in common; from music to political p.o.v. I was enlighten by his way of thinking and every conversations we had was pleasant. We exchanged numbers and we would sms from time to time. I even went to one of his gigs, a few weeks before i left on vacation.

Exhibit B: The friend of a friend

A friend of ours introduced us two years ago, at my birthday party. My first impression of him was nice and he was a gentleman. That night, after one of my friend ended drinking too much, Mr. X decided to offer him and I a ride home since we lived in the same area. I hesitated at first because I've just met the guy, but I went along with my good judgement and I agreed. Ever since that night, we've always kept in touch online via fb, msn, etc. I never saw him again up until recently. I would have to say it was the most random meeting I've ever had, but I had a great time that day. He's been sms'ing quite often lately too.

Exhibit C: The high school jock

During my first week of class, i ran into an old "friend". Actually he was my high school senior and everyone knew him back then. I couldn't really say the least: he was one of the star basketball player and a big jock. I didn't think he would recognize me at first, but he surprised me he called out my name. The first thing he said to me was "Damn girl, you look fine!". To be honest, i don't know if i should be flattered or insulted by that comment. Nonetheless, i was happy to see him again. We would run into each other from time to time in between classes now and we would regularly talk.

I find it great and overwelming that the guys have shown some sort of interest. I mean, for the first time when i'm not looking, there comes all of them at once. The only problem is, I'm not quite used to this yet. I don't know how to respond to it.