Friday, November 26, 2010
Dear You, You and You
Because this is what i partially need to get off my mind before the finals.
Individual #1: I don't think it's a coincidence anymore that i bump into you every so often. In fact, don't you think that it's a bit too weird how we would always run into each other? I started investigating further when i got these sms from you saying (and i quote): "From where i'm sitting, i can see you're the prettiest girl in the library." or "Your smile is just as radiant as that sequin skirt you are wearing." and finally "You don't have to come and say hi to me. Ever since the day that i met you, you had me a hello." When i inquired you about this, you simply said it was meant to be. After thinking for a very long time, i came to the conclusion that it's NOT a coincidence but it was definitely MEANT to happen because YOU made it happen. Now, there's a reason why i don't reply to those sms: Persistence is a turn off.
Individual #2: Our conversations are always amazing and diverse. You always seem to know what and what not to say. You have a way of making the people around you feel smart and there's no complexity whatsoever in the way you think. Honestly, it is people like you that i'm attracted to the most (you get bonus points for your amazing talent and cute smile). Yet these past few days, you have troubled my thoughts. Since our last conversation, I'm still trying to figure out if your intentions were meant for my well being or simply yours. To be honest i was fine being in my cocoon until you disrupted it. I had a hard time swallowing the truth but as you can see, i am slowly accepting it even though it hurts. Even if i were to say yes, i would be doing it for all the wrong reasons. We're not going to make something out of it if none of our heart is mend yet. From what i see, yours is far from being healed. I don't know what will happen in the future (in fact, i hate anything that is premeditated), but i believe in chances. Therefore, i hope we keep in touch. If it's meant to be, it will happen. We will only know until then.
Individual #3: I miss the beginning; how we went from being complete strangers to building a great long lasting friendship. I miss working together; how we would blast kpop in the store and team Friday. I miss the daily texting; whether it is about the most random things, your text would always put a smile on my face. I miss our long talks over the phone and how we would talk without even realizing how late it is because we said that it’s never too late to call each other. I miss listening to you whine like a 10 year old while you’re playing your video games. I miss having coffee and sitting at our usual table at Timmy’s. I miss having ice cream in the summer at the gelato place near the river. I miss playing the iPod game and trying to do the dance moves in the car. I miss going to ctown for some bbtea and nutella toast. I miss how you would always teach me something new that you learned in class. I miss spending time with your family because they simply remind me of mine. I miss our deep conversations and having to open ourselves up to each other. I miss how you would always pull on a strand of my hair and act innocent. I miss the way you would look at me like I’m the most special person in your life. I miss how you would delicately kiss my forehead. I miss how you would suddenly pull me up against you and we would hug for a really long time… I don’t know if it’s because of school that I’m thinking too much or simply because i’m a nostalgic person, but I always find myself thinking about all those times we’d spent together during the past months. I’ve come to realize how much I miss it and i need it right now.
Individual #1: I don't think it's a coincidence anymore that i bump into you every so often. In fact, don't you think that it's a bit too weird how we would always run into each other? I started investigating further when i got these sms from you saying (and i quote): "From where i'm sitting, i can see you're the prettiest girl in the library." or "Your smile is just as radiant as that sequin skirt you are wearing." and finally "You don't have to come and say hi to me. Ever since the day that i met you, you had me a hello." When i inquired you about this, you simply said it was meant to be. After thinking for a very long time, i came to the conclusion that it's NOT a coincidence but it was definitely MEANT to happen because YOU made it happen. Now, there's a reason why i don't reply to those sms: Persistence is a turn off.
Individual #2: Our conversations are always amazing and diverse. You always seem to know what and what not to say. You have a way of making the people around you feel smart and there's no complexity whatsoever in the way you think. Honestly, it is people like you that i'm attracted to the most (you get bonus points for your amazing talent and cute smile). Yet these past few days, you have troubled my thoughts. Since our last conversation, I'm still trying to figure out if your intentions were meant for my well being or simply yours. To be honest i was fine being in my cocoon until you disrupted it. I had a hard time swallowing the truth but as you can see, i am slowly accepting it even though it hurts. Even if i were to say yes, i would be doing it for all the wrong reasons. We're not going to make something out of it if none of our heart is mend yet. From what i see, yours is far from being healed. I don't know what will happen in the future (in fact, i hate anything that is premeditated), but i believe in chances. Therefore, i hope we keep in touch. If it's meant to be, it will happen. We will only know until then.
Individual #3: I miss the beginning; how we went from being complete strangers to building a great long lasting friendship. I miss working together; how we would blast kpop in the store and team Friday. I miss the daily texting; whether it is about the most random things, your text would always put a smile on my face. I miss our long talks over the phone and how we would talk without even realizing how late it is because we said that it’s never too late to call each other. I miss listening to you whine like a 10 year old while you’re playing your video games. I miss having coffee and sitting at our usual table at Timmy’s. I miss having ice cream in the summer at the gelato place near the river. I miss playing the iPod game and trying to do the dance moves in the car. I miss going to ctown for some bbtea and nutella toast. I miss how you would always teach me something new that you learned in class. I miss spending time with your family because they simply remind me of mine. I miss our deep conversations and having to open ourselves up to each other. I miss how you would always pull on a strand of my hair and act innocent. I miss the way you would look at me like I’m the most special person in your life. I miss how you would delicately kiss my forehead. I miss how you would suddenly pull me up against you and we would hug for a really long time… I don’t know if it’s because of school that I’m thinking too much or simply because i’m a nostalgic person, but I always find myself thinking about all those times we’d spent together during the past months. I’ve come to realize how much I miss it and i need it right now.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
On Repeat
These three songs are added to my Infinite Playlist (see post here). Of all the people out there, i deserve it less.
Day Nine
Technically, i should be done with my 15 days challenge today if i had posted daily. Knowing that i would have to buried myself under my books for the next 3 weeks (and only if i don't procrastinate) i will cheat a bit and update whenever i can from now on.
How you hope your future will be like?
Unpredictable.
I want it to be an experience where i can grow, learn and see as many things as i could. As long as i'm happy and satisfied, i believe i can live a peaceful life with no worries. Besides, if things where to happen, it will be for a reason. Good or bad.
How you hope your future will be like?
Unpredictable.
I want it to be an experience where i can grow, learn and see as many things as i could. As long as i'm happy and satisfied, i believe i can live a peaceful life with no worries. Besides, if things where to happen, it will be for a reason. Good or bad.
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Midnight Coffee
Same place, same time, a different conversation.He says i'm one of a kind. I tell him we're not all that different.
He says i have a contagious smile. I tell him that there's a lot behind it.
He says i'm making a mistake. I tell him that i want to learn from my mistake.
He says i deserve better. I tell him we all deserve better.
He says he wants me to be happy and not suffer. I tell him that i find happiness in my sufferings.
He says he'll fight for me. I tell him it's a battle he has already lost.
He says he'll wait until i'm ready. I tell him i know what it's like to wait.
He says he wants to be an exception. I tell him i already have an exception.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Day Eight
A moment when you felt most satisfied with your life.
I don't think there's a specific moment or i simply haven’t had it yet. So far it’s been about moments that take your breath away and my standards are not that high or complicated so that hasn’t been an issue to obtain.
I don't think there's a specific moment or i simply haven’t had it yet. So far it’s been about moments that take your breath away and my standards are not that high or complicated so that hasn’t been an issue to obtain.
I think the moment i will feel satisfied with my life would be after i’ve experienced/lived through the miracle of birth, one day sitting in my living room, while the baby is sleeping, i will be holding a cup of tea and i would be staring at my front yard; thanking God for that moment.
Frankly speaking, nothing can compare to that moment. That bliss that you’ve accomplished it all and will have to endure much harder circumstances and occurrences. It will be the beginning of no ends, of worrying about another life more than your own. About finally loving someone unconditionally without meaning or reason. It’s the direction i’d like to follow somehow, someday. To have a family of my own, that i can truly be proud of, and would sacrifice everything to.
Day Seven
Your zodiac sign and if you think it fits your personality.
Somewhat accurate :)
You’re born under the sign of Libra, which represents the element of air, or the intellect. You’re most definitely a thinker — you like to use your mind to tackle problems. Libra is the seventh sign of the zodiac, which refers to relationships of all sorts and your connection to the world around you.
People know you as someone who loves to socialise. Your outgoing nature and love of communicating brilliant ideas to people around you is one of your strengths. You’re rarely at a loss for words … even on your worst day you have the gift of the gab!
You not only have the ability to share your ideas in a very natural way; you also have charm in the way you convey your feelings. This is another of your very positive traits. Even people who don’t agree with what you have to say can’t resist you and will usually behave well around you — you’re simply a nice person.
Your love of communication makes you an excellent mediator and negotiator. Coupled with the fact that you’re always reasonable in the way you deal with people, this means your friends and co-workers can always depend on your having a balanced viewpoint, even in the fiercest of arguments.
In fact, if there’s a problem with you, it comes out of the fact that you’re so good at seeing all the sides of a problem and staying impartial. This makes it hard for you to commit to one side of an argument — you don’t want to be seen as biased, and you want everyone to like you! What ends up happening is that the way you get everyone’s approval is by agreeing with everyone. This is not a good idea, because you’re agreeing to things for the wrong reasons: to keep everyone on side, rather than because you’re firmly committed to something. Try not to do this, because it can mess up your dealings with people. You don’t need to bend over so far just to be accepted.
When you get to know people, you are perfectly comfortable sharing your feelings with them, and you’ll go to some trouble to make them feel at ease. You create harmony in your environment to match the harmony in your character.
This relates to the fact that your ruling planet is Venus. This is a soft and gracious planet, and feminine by nature. Your softer side is expressed in pretty much everything you do — the way you entertain guests, the type of home furnishings you like to buy, the clothes you wear and even your personal grooming. All these things express the natural flair and grace which is part of that Venus temperament. There’s no way others won’t notice your style. People see you as elegant and tasteful — and that’s people who know you well as well as people who’ve just met you.
You often make a great first impression because you are such a good communicator and connect so easily with people; this makes you an ace networker. Some people believe you must have an ulterior motive because you are dealing with so many people at once, but it’s really just that you absolutely love socialising and partying. You are a real ‘people person’.
Because Venus is the planet of love, you seek love this in everything you do, and particularly in relationships. Finding your soulmate is a big dream, perhaps even your most significant life mission — you will go to great lengths to meet lots and lots of people. Who knows where you’ll find the right one? You have a lot to give to the person you feel is your perfect match.
Libra is a movable air sign, which means there’s creativity in you. You are quick to grasp ideas, and you have a need to produce works of art and unusual or original things. You bring a touch of art to anything you do. Remember to incorporate this part of you into all your life’s activities; you’ll be richly rewarded.
People know you as someone who loves to socialise. Your outgoing nature and love of communicating brilliant ideas to people around you is one of your strengths. You’re rarely at a loss for words … even on your worst day you have the gift of the gab!
You not only have the ability to share your ideas in a very natural way; you also have charm in the way you convey your feelings. This is another of your very positive traits. Even people who don’t agree with what you have to say can’t resist you and will usually behave well around you — you’re simply a nice person.
Your love of communication makes you an excellent mediator and negotiator. Coupled with the fact that you’re always reasonable in the way you deal with people, this means your friends and co-workers can always depend on your having a balanced viewpoint, even in the fiercest of arguments.
In fact, if there’s a problem with you, it comes out of the fact that you’re so good at seeing all the sides of a problem and staying impartial. This makes it hard for you to commit to one side of an argument — you don’t want to be seen as biased, and you want everyone to like you! What ends up happening is that the way you get everyone’s approval is by agreeing with everyone. This is not a good idea, because you’re agreeing to things for the wrong reasons: to keep everyone on side, rather than because you’re firmly committed to something. Try not to do this, because it can mess up your dealings with people. You don’t need to bend over so far just to be accepted.
When you get to know people, you are perfectly comfortable sharing your feelings with them, and you’ll go to some trouble to make them feel at ease. You create harmony in your environment to match the harmony in your character.
This relates to the fact that your ruling planet is Venus. This is a soft and gracious planet, and feminine by nature. Your softer side is expressed in pretty much everything you do — the way you entertain guests, the type of home furnishings you like to buy, the clothes you wear and even your personal grooming. All these things express the natural flair and grace which is part of that Venus temperament. There’s no way others won’t notice your style. People see you as elegant and tasteful — and that’s people who know you well as well as people who’ve just met you.
You often make a great first impression because you are such a good communicator and connect so easily with people; this makes you an ace networker. Some people believe you must have an ulterior motive because you are dealing with so many people at once, but it’s really just that you absolutely love socialising and partying. You are a real ‘people person’.
Because Venus is the planet of love, you seek love this in everything you do, and particularly in relationships. Finding your soulmate is a big dream, perhaps even your most significant life mission — you will go to great lengths to meet lots and lots of people. Who knows where you’ll find the right one? You have a lot to give to the person you feel is your perfect match.
Libra is a movable air sign, which means there’s creativity in you. You are quick to grasp ideas, and you have a need to produce works of art and unusual or original things. You bring a touch of art to anything you do. Remember to incorporate this part of you into all your life’s activities; you’ll be richly rewarded.
Somewhat accurate :)
Monday, November 15, 2010
Day Six
Write 30 interesting facts about yourself.
I did something similar to this a few months ago. Excuse my copypasting and if it sounds like i'm repeating myself.
- People would always get the impression that i'm reserved and quiet but i'm far from being like that. You know what they say about the quiet ones ;)
- I can easily pick up a conversation with random strangers.
- I'm good at what girls do best: getting annoyed and throwing tantrums.
- I can get mad easily but i forgive easily. (No, i'm not bipolar)
- I'm a good listener and i'm very open minded.
- I have a lot of expectations in people.
- I'm a dreamer and a hopeless romantic. Thus, i'm really cheesy and corny.
- I take a really long time to get ready.
- I hate multitasking and feeling pressured.
- I'm not easy to surprise.
- I have a guy sense of humor.
- Whenever i can't sleep, i would go to my living room with my pillow and my blanket, and watch Breakfast At Tiffany's on dvd.
- I prefer night time over day time.
- I think 7Up taste better with a McChicken and Coke with a Big Mac.
- Astronomy and dinosaur books makes me eerie.
- I have a very expensive taste.
- I like to go into a book store, grab a random book, sit on the floor and spend the next hour reading.
- I love cooking/baking but i hate doing the dishes.
- I hate chocolate icing, lobsters and crabs.
- Sometimes a simple phone call or a text message asking how's my day makes me happy.
- I think the best thing next to kissing is being in someone's embrace. I'm very affectuous.
- I tend to over analyze a situation and picture everything like in a drama.
- I'm at my weakest when i feel i've unaccomplished something or when i don't tell people how i really feel.
- I deserve a medal for being the best procrastinator out there.
- Strawberry ice cream can make my day anytime.
- I loveeeee to sleep.
- I hate last minute change of plans or simply when things doesn't go according plans.
- I believe actions mean more than words.
- I may seem overly confident when i say this, but i do know that any guy would be lucky to have me as their gf (lol)
I did something similar to this a few months ago. Excuse my copypasting and if it sounds like i'm repeating myself.
- People would always get the impression that i'm reserved and quiet but i'm far from being like that. You know what they say about the quiet ones ;)
- I can easily pick up a conversation with random strangers.
- I'm good at what girls do best: getting annoyed and throwing tantrums.
- I can get mad easily but i forgive easily. (No, i'm not bipolar)
- I'm a good listener and i'm very open minded.
- I have a lot of expectations in people.
- I'm a dreamer and a hopeless romantic. Thus, i'm really cheesy and corny.
- I take a really long time to get ready.
- I hate multitasking and feeling pressured.
- I'm not easy to surprise.
- I have a guy sense of humor.
- Whenever i can't sleep, i would go to my living room with my pillow and my blanket, and watch Breakfast At Tiffany's on dvd.
- I prefer night time over day time.
- I think 7Up taste better with a McChicken and Coke with a Big Mac.
- Astronomy and dinosaur books makes me eerie.
- I have a very expensive taste.
- I like to go into a book store, grab a random book, sit on the floor and spend the next hour reading.
- I love cooking/baking but i hate doing the dishes.
- I hate chocolate icing, lobsters and crabs.
- Sometimes a simple phone call or a text message asking how's my day makes me happy.
- I think the best thing next to kissing is being in someone's embrace. I'm very affectuous.
- I tend to over analyze a situation and picture everything like in a drama.
- I'm at my weakest when i feel i've unaccomplished something or when i don't tell people how i really feel.
- I deserve a medal for being the best procrastinator out there.
- Strawberry ice cream can make my day anytime.
- I loveeeee to sleep.
- I hate last minute change of plans or simply when things doesn't go according plans.
- I believe actions mean more than words.
- I may seem overly confident when i say this, but i do know that any guy would be lucky to have me as their gf (lol)
The Mean Reds
Holly: You know those days when you get the mean reds?
Paul: The mean reds, you mean like the blues?
Holly: No. The blues are because you're getting fat and maybe it's been raining too long, you're just sad that's all. The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you're afraid and you don't know what you're afraid of. Do you ever get that feeling?
Paul: Sure.
Holly: Well, when I get it the only thing that does any good is to jump in a cab and go to Tiffany's. Calms me down right away. The quietness and the proud look of it; nothing very bad could happen to you there. If I could find a real-life place that'd make me feel like Tiffany's, then - then I'd buy some furniture and give the cat a name!
Paul: The mean reds, you mean like the blues?
Holly: No. The blues are because you're getting fat and maybe it's been raining too long, you're just sad that's all. The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you're afraid and you don't know what you're afraid of. Do you ever get that feeling?
Paul: Sure.
Holly: Well, when I get it the only thing that does any good is to jump in a cab and go to Tiffany's. Calms me down right away. The quietness and the proud look of it; nothing very bad could happen to you there. If I could find a real-life place that'd make me feel like Tiffany's, then - then I'd buy some furniture and give the cat a name!
Confession
(1:30 AM, after venting about my day and about life over coffee and donuts)
Me: I still don't understand why it's so complicated.
Friend: Because people like you make it complicate.
Me: Am i wrong then?
Friend: It's as if you're asking me if it's wrong for blind people to be blind.
Me: And your point is?
Friend: Do you really think you're at fault for listening to your heart and believing in something good? You went with your guts because you saw something that others don't.
Me: I guess you're right...
Friend: You don't guess. You know that i'm right haha
Me: True. Knowing that you give such great advice, you should do the same to that girl you say you're interested in. haha
Friend: I just did.
Me: I still don't understand why it's so complicated.
Friend: Because people like you make it complicate.
Me: Am i wrong then?
Friend: It's as if you're asking me if it's wrong for blind people to be blind.
Me: And your point is?
Friend: Do you really think you're at fault for listening to your heart and believing in something good? You went with your guts because you saw something that others don't.
Me: I guess you're right...
Friend: You don't guess. You know that i'm right haha
Me: True. Knowing that you give such great advice, you should do the same to that girl you say you're interested in. haha
Friend: I just did.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Day Three, Four, Five
Your views on drugs and alcohol.
They both have one thing in common: they soothe pain... (lol) Ok, in all seriousness. It's bad to those who think its bad and it's good to those who think it's good. Drugs and alcohol are part of life experiences. You would never know what they're like if you do not experience it yourself. I'm not implying that i've done drugs before, but everything is so unpredictable in a way, that nothing can stop me from given myself into the temptations if the opportunity arise. My morals say it's bad, but i'm not a saint. Au contraire, i believe in self control and what you make out of it once you've got to live the experience. That's what i did when i first tried alcohol. I drink on occasions and with moderation because i know my limits.
Your views on religion.
Religion is the mother of bandwagons. I'm far from criticizing religion, but i am stating the fact that whether you're a believer or a non-believer, you are still part of a "group" that believes in something. To me, Buddhism is not a religion but a philosophy, a way of life. Growing up, i was raised to believe that life is a circle of turning events and lessons. If i do good, i will receive good in return and if i do bad, then vice versa. Therefore i have an open view on religion. You can believe in anything you want, or not believe in anything at all, but as long as you live your life with a meaning.
A time you thought about ending your own life.
For as long as i could remember, i've always been the self conscious type. But at the very ripped age of twelve and going on my teen years, i fell deep into an acute sense of self-awareness which led me to many unpleasant events and memorable scars. It would be a surprise to most of the people around me as i've always been the happy-go-lucky type. But we all have secrets. Thoughts that are too painful to share. I felt like i was a prisoner in my own body and that i was ugly. At that time, i got the feeling that no one understood what i was going through. I even believed that i was the problem and that the only way to get rid of the problem is to go away. Til this day, i still don't know how i got out of it, but i am happy (and lucky) that i'm finally able to love myself for me.
They both have one thing in common: they soothe pain... (lol) Ok, in all seriousness. It's bad to those who think its bad and it's good to those who think it's good. Drugs and alcohol are part of life experiences. You would never know what they're like if you do not experience it yourself. I'm not implying that i've done drugs before, but everything is so unpredictable in a way, that nothing can stop me from given myself into the temptations if the opportunity arise. My morals say it's bad, but i'm not a saint. Au contraire, i believe in self control and what you make out of it once you've got to live the experience. That's what i did when i first tried alcohol. I drink on occasions and with moderation because i know my limits.
Your views on religion.
Religion is the mother of bandwagons. I'm far from criticizing religion, but i am stating the fact that whether you're a believer or a non-believer, you are still part of a "group" that believes in something. To me, Buddhism is not a religion but a philosophy, a way of life. Growing up, i was raised to believe that life is a circle of turning events and lessons. If i do good, i will receive good in return and if i do bad, then vice versa. Therefore i have an open view on religion. You can believe in anything you want, or not believe in anything at all, but as long as you live your life with a meaning.
A time you thought about ending your own life.
For as long as i could remember, i've always been the self conscious type. But at the very ripped age of twelve and going on my teen years, i fell deep into an acute sense of self-awareness which led me to many unpleasant events and memorable scars. It would be a surprise to most of the people around me as i've always been the happy-go-lucky type. But we all have secrets. Thoughts that are too painful to share. I felt like i was a prisoner in my own body and that i was ugly. At that time, i got the feeling that no one understood what i was going through. I even believed that i was the problem and that the only way to get rid of the problem is to go away. Til this day, i still don't know how i got out of it, but i am happy (and lucky) that i'm finally able to love myself for me.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Day Two
Where you'd like to be in 10 years.
When i was asked about this question 10 years ago, i pictured myself just getting out of college with a degree, living in an apartment with my besties, being in a committed relationship, etc. Here i am 10 years now, and sooooo far from being the person i imagined i'd be. I think the average human being tend to put unnecessary thoughts on their future. It's good to think ahead, and to have our plans settled out for us, but let's face it. Things never turn out the way we want them to. We're so blinded that we don't even see the significant things in our life anymore. So with that being said, i simply want to be happy and being surrounded by the people that i love. I want to learn from my mistakes, live my life with a purpose and seize as many opportunities as i can.
When i was asked about this question 10 years ago, i pictured myself just getting out of college with a degree, living in an apartment with my besties, being in a committed relationship, etc. Here i am 10 years now, and sooooo far from being the person i imagined i'd be. I think the average human being tend to put unnecessary thoughts on their future. It's good to think ahead, and to have our plans settled out for us, but let's face it. Things never turn out the way we want them to. We're so blinded that we don't even see the significant things in our life anymore. So with that being said, i simply want to be happy and being surrounded by the people that i love. I want to learn from my mistakes, live my life with a purpose and seize as many opportunities as i can.
All I Want For Christmas
I know i'm a month ahead but i had to prepare my list in advance. Oh, and it's not called a WISHLIST for nothing. I know i won't be able to receive that lovely Cartier watch unless i get myself a billionaire hotel tycoon boyfriend first *cough*Chuck Bass*cough* :P
1. Comme Des Garçons Play tshirt - $110
2. Stella McCartney Louise lace bra - $88
3. Nikon D5000 DSLR camera - $699
4. NARS Orgasm nail lacquer - $16
5. Missoni Stripe Knit scarf - $225
6. Breakfast At Tiffany's sleeping mask - $20
7. Cartier 21 Chronograph watch - $3,925
8. Julia's Kitchen Wisdom cookbook - $10
9. Lanvin Jeweled Bow suede flat - $775
1. Comme Des Garçons Play tshirt - $110
2. Stella McCartney Louise lace bra - $88
3. Nikon D5000 DSLR camera - $699
4. NARS Orgasm nail lacquer - $16
5. Missoni Stripe Knit scarf - $225
6. Breakfast At Tiffany's sleeping mask - $20
7. Cartier 21 Chronograph watch - $3,925
8. Julia's Kitchen Wisdom cookbook - $10
9. Lanvin Jeweled Bow suede flat - $775
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Day One
Your current relationship, if single discuss how single life is.
I ask myself that question every morning when i wake up, and every night when i go to bed. In the real world, i am not seeing anyone. Some people would think it's great because i'm at the very beginning of my adult life where i should have as much fun as i can, meet as many new people as i can. Heck, i should be having as many steamy hot sex with random strangers as i can, to put it into good words. I really should...but i'm not. I live in a non existent parallel world, where i am attached. My love life is like the traffic lights. One minute it's green; everything is amazing and great. The other minute it's turn yellow; a lot of self-reflection and questioning. And than its red; it stops and there's nothing. I could be wrong, but i've been getting the feeling like i'm at the red light lately. I don't know if it's intentional, but what i do know is that i want it to turn green again, asap. I hate being in the red zone. Having to see "other people" just to fill in the void have not proven to be the same and it plainly sucks.
I ask myself that question every morning when i wake up, and every night when i go to bed. In the real world, i am not seeing anyone. Some people would think it's great because i'm at the very beginning of my adult life where i should have as much fun as i can, meet as many new people as i can. Heck, i should be having as many steamy hot sex with random strangers as i can, to put it into good words. I really should...but i'm not. I live in a non existent parallel world, where i am attached. My love life is like the traffic lights. One minute it's green; everything is amazing and great. The other minute it's turn yellow; a lot of self-reflection and questioning. And than its red; it stops and there's nothing. I could be wrong, but i've been getting the feeling like i'm at the red light lately. I don't know if it's intentional, but what i do know is that i want it to turn green again, asap. I hate being in the red zone. Having to see "other people" just to fill in the void have not proven to be the same and it plainly sucks.
15 Days Challenge
I thought this might be interesting and fun to do. I've always wanted to start a challenge on blogger but never had the time to fully "commit" myself into writing regularly. But i got to say, i'm quite impressed with myself for blogging almost daily these past few days *gives big pat on the shoulder* (lol)
P.S Actually i stole this from Huong's tumblr hehe :)
Day 01 →Your current relationship, if single discuss how single life is.
Day 02 →Where you’d like to be in 10 years.
Day 03 →Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 04 →Your views on religion.
Day 05 →A time you thought about ending your own life.
Day 06 →Write 30 interesting facts about yourself.
Day 07 →Your zodiac sign and if you think it fits your personality.
Day 08 →A moment you felt the most satisfied with your life.
Day 09 →How you hope your future will be like.
Day 10 →Discuss your first love and first kiss.
Day 11 →Put your ipod on shuffle and write 10 songs that pop up.
Day 12 →Bullet your whole day.
Day 13 →Somewhere you’d like to move or visit.
Day 14 →Your earliest memory.
Day 15 →Your favorite tumblrs (or simply your fav blog).
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Morning
Ever watched a horror movie and get pissed at that one character who would still open the door even though we know that he/she knows that death is waiting for them in the other room?
Til this day, i still ask myself what led me into giving in. I should have been stopped. I should have been warned. I should have listened. I had the choices and the options. Yet like that character in the horror flick, i opened that door anyway. Why? Because at that time, it felt right. I've always believed of myself to be smart but when it comes to situation like these, the lingering feelings always take over the good/bad judgements.
That morning i woke up to a quiet, unfamiliar room. There were barely any lights; it was cloudy outside. Although it claimed to be welcoming, i felt less than welcomed to this place. After registering whatever i was seeing around me, it took me less than thirty seconds to remember all the events from the night before. None of it was vague. It was still very clear. Maybe too clear. I rolled over to the other side of the bed. The pillows were untouched. That side of the bed was cold. It dawned on me. It was empty and i was alone. I dragged myself to the bathroom, into the bathtub and turned on the shower. My entire body seeped the heat of the hot water. I sank into my deepest thoughts and my tears, just as hot as the water itself, got mixed in the process. Every thing i felt at that moment, came crashing on top of me at 1,000 mph. For that time only, i allowed myself to cry until i had nothing left to cry about. I did not cry because there was regret nor because there was any form of pain associated to what happened. I cried because i know i did nothing wrong, we did nothing wrong. I cried because i still have hope, in something even better. I cried because an amazing girl like myself deserve to have that person next to her when she wakes up in the morning.
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Infinite Playlist
If my life was a soundtrack, these would be the songs:
. Unthinkable - Alicia Keys
. Have you ever - Brandy
.The First Thing - Esmée denters
. Like a star - Corinne Bailey Rae
. Chasing Pavement - Adele
. Selfish - N'Sync
. Yesterday Once More - The Carpenters
. Can't Be Friends - Trey Songz
. Thinking of You - Katy Perry
. Never Ever - Ciara
. The Only Exception - Paramore
. I'm Gonna Make You Miss Me - 3LW
. Teardrops On My Guitar - Taylor Swift
. Need You Now - Lady Antebellum
. Official Girl - Cassie
. More Than Words - Extreme
. Lately - Stevie Wonder
. Right Here Waiting - Richard Marx
. Unthinkable - Alicia Keys
. Have you ever - Brandy
.The First Thing - Esmée denters
. Like a star - Corinne Bailey Rae
. Chasing Pavement - Adele
. Selfish - N'Sync
. Yesterday Once More - The Carpenters
. Can't Be Friends - Trey Songz
. Thinking of You - Katy Perry
. Never Ever - Ciara
. The Only Exception - Paramore
. I'm Gonna Make You Miss Me - 3LW
. Teardrops On My Guitar - Taylor Swift
. Need You Now - Lady Antebellum
. Official Girl - Cassie
. More Than Words - Extreme
. Lately - Stevie Wonder
. Right Here Waiting - Richard Marx
Friday, November 5, 2010
Away
Sad songs that I'm singing about you
It's the life that I'm living without you
I keep telling myself in a way that I'm the lucky one
Clean out all the memories about you
Everything is a battle without you
I drain the thoughts and say that I'm the lucky one
When will I ever come to understand?
And take myself for what I am
Realize that I'm better off this way
Away from you
Away from you
No more pain no more lies
Never, never, no more you and I
Away from you
Away
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Words
Words demand explanation. They require analysis. They are the construction and expression of my thoughts. Of my heart. But they can't describe it. They can't describe any of it. They can't tell you how deep the memories are, or how often I think of them. They can't scream what I really want to say. They are the mask of how I really feel and they try to disguise the pain, but someone will strip it away. And someone will make those words worthless.
So what is a word worth? Nothing. What are three words worth? Nothing. But we say them anyway, because you know. You know, more than anyone what they mean. You know when I say I love you, I really mean that those three words can't describe what it is we have. When I say you're amazing, I know the word is just a cover; a quick way for me to remember all the things that amaze me about you, a mask for the memories we share, a disguised version of our adventures together. And I really believe that you know, when I say I miss you, it's not just that. I miss you every moment, and I miss just what your name means to me. It means an alphabet of sounds and letters and words. But none of them really mean anything, because words are based on trust, they rely on how truly and deeply we feel. Remember, always, that they don't mean anything, they are letters and they are constructions, but we deconstruct them every day and we twist them; we manipulate them so that they say what we want them to. But no word, no shape, no photograph could ever twist so far that it could begin to explain even a little bit of how I feel.
So what is a word worth? Nothing. What are three words worth? Nothing. But we say them anyway, because you know. You know, more than anyone what they mean. You know when I say I love you, I really mean that those three words can't describe what it is we have. When I say you're amazing, I know the word is just a cover; a quick way for me to remember all the things that amaze me about you, a mask for the memories we share, a disguised version of our adventures together. And I really believe that you know, when I say I miss you, it's not just that. I miss you every moment, and I miss just what your name means to me. It means an alphabet of sounds and letters and words. But none of them really mean anything, because words are based on trust, they rely on how truly and deeply we feel. Remember, always, that they don't mean anything, they are letters and they are constructions, but we deconstruct them every day and we twist them; we manipulate them so that they say what we want them to. But no word, no shape, no photograph could ever twist so far that it could begin to explain even a little bit of how I feel.
-L.
***
Thank you twinnie for showing me this. Whoever wrote this deserve a standing ovation.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
H&M Meets LANVIN
Christmas has arrived early for me this year. Eager to find out who would be their partner this year, I was more than ECSTATIC when H&M announced their partnership with Parisian Couture house Lanvin, back in August. When big named designers collaborate with stores like H&M (Victor&Rolf, Karl Lagerfeld, Roberto Cavalli, Jimmy Choo... just to name a few), it brings any fashion addicts like myself pure joy because we can actually afford to buy designer duds for less. Not only is the collection amaaaazing (need to dress shop for a wedding this summer), but us North Americans are the first to get our hands on the gorgeous dresses and accessories before anyone in the world on November 20th.
I would have to ask if the H&M store at my work place will be releasing the collection there. If not, i'm taking a day off from work and i'm camping out the DT store at 3AM. Call me crazy, but crazy is my middle name :)
Get ready to swipe your credit cards ladies (and men).
It wasn't a project about a dress for less, I think that i love the idea that H&M was going luxury.
- Alber Elbaz
Heartbeat
The heartbeat. Have you ever lain with somebody when your hearts were beating in the same rhythm? That’s true love. A man and a woman who lie down with their hearts beating together are truly lucky. Then you’ve truly been in love, m’ boy. Yeah, that’s true love. You might see that person once a month, once a year, maybe once a lifetime, but you have the guarantee your lives are going to be in rhythm.
That’s all you need.
B.Dylan
That’s all you need.
B.Dylan
Monday, November 1, 2010
Contradiction
When they come straight from the heart, the words are banned. We prefer the ones that sound like an empty shell. I always thought, with a childlike naivete, that they should always be analyzed, weighed. However, some use it without the slightest embarrassment. As Jean Cocteau would say, men are afraid of the truth. Words are the weapons of tricks, they're the weapons of seduction, the weapons of destruction.
But what is the difference between the shell and the substance? Between the content and its credibility? What is the purpose of using words that make no sense, words that do not hold any truth?
Your words, your body, your touch are irrelevant. They are designed to fulfill your quest to capture the idealistic female; her body, her mind, her soul. This is called utilitarianism (ie; The belief that the value of a thing or an action is determined by its utility ) - Pure selfishness.
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