NYFW

The tents. Bryant Park. New York Fashion Week. One of the most anticipated events in the fashion world, and it is finally here (!!!) It's only Day 3 and my inbox is filled with the latest whereabouts and shows around the city. I usually don't spazz as much when it comes to shows in places like Paris or Milan, but the one thing that i love about New York is that it's local...almost like home. Every aspect of what i call "the city" is seen throughout the creations of the designers: crude, cutting-edge, liberal and structure. It's like they know what the north american clientele are looking for and they respond amazingly to our demands, some of them even surprises us as well. Only New York based fashion designers possess this knowledge.

Alexander Wang, Derek Lam, Jason Wu, Rag&Bone, Prabal Gurung and Zac Posen were amongst my favorites these past few days. I am really looking forward to see Badgley & Mischka, Diane Von Furstenberg, Narciso Rodriguez, Thakoon and of course, Marc Jacobs :) Spring 2011 are in good hands so far!

Chapter Twenty Four

DongMin's eyes extracted for a minute. His lips parted in surprise. Slowly, his face softened from the anger to something more like apologetic. I knew he wasn't expecting me to cry, but he had done it. For the first time ever, in a really long time, DongMin had managed to make me sincerely cry in front of him. I hated myself for allowing him to see me this way, but there was no other way I would have it. This was the only way I could remind him that I was Kim SuVy, a girl, his best-friend nonetheless - but still a girl - a girl in her own right to have such emotions, after a boy that she liked, was hurting her.

I felt DongMin's hands ease off their grip on me.

"Why can't it just be easy? If you like someone, you tell them. If you don't like someone, you tell them. If you want to be with someone, be with them. If you don't want to be with someone, don't be with them! Why does it have to be so complicated? Isn't love, or something like it, between just two people? You say you like me, you say you want to be with me, so why do you include all these other people around us?! Isn't this, whatever it is, just between us?! Why can't we just -" I lost my words at the crack of my voice. Reaching out, I pushed his arms completely away from me. Turning to face the elevator doors, frantically thinking of how I was going to get away from DongMin as fast as possible, I almost didn't hear him as I pressed the emergency button again.

"God Vy." The words uttered from DongMin sounded like the wind was knocked out of him. Nonetheless, I felt his arms slip around my waist and hold me back. I felt the warmth of his chest against my back as he hugged me backwards.

"What are you doing?" I asked him firmly, refusing to be weak just because I was crying.

"Do you have any fcuken idea we are going to change - we are going to change forever if we're more than friends?"

"I don't want to talk about this right now."

"Vy - I did a lot of thinking when I was away," DongMin confessed.

"Oh, surprise," I said sarcastically.

DongMin ignored my comment. "If I could, I would go back to all those times when I was with you. And at some time during those times, I would've told you at least once how much I liked you. We - our friendship is a curse Vy." DongMin had no idea how his words were just sending daggers into my heart.

"What are you so afraid of?!" I breathed through gritted teeth.

"Of - losing you as my best friend. Because I don't think I can be both to you. I can't be a good boyfriend and a good best friend. What - what would happen if we broke up? I would lose my girlfriend and my best friend." DongMin's words, and their reality, came crashing on top of me at 1,000 mph.

His hands slipped, letting me go. I was so numbed from his words, I hadn't the slightest idea what I was doing when I turned around to face him. Staring into the face that I've recognized for so long, in the last 13 years, I could make out every curve on his face and the light in his eyes. "You're so afraid of the outcome, you don't want to take the risk."

DongMin stared back at me for the longest time. "If I'm going to lose you - I, I'd rather it be to Dragon. But that doesn't make me any less angry SuVy."

"So is that what you want DongMin? Me to date Dragon?"
"..."
"Because I'm not going to wait for you anymore. I'm not going to end up 80 and alone - you know that right?"
"..."

"We never worked out because we never tried. We just went on assuming we're only good as best friends. The attraction was there, we just never activated it," I told him, wanting him to see.

"You're saying that like we're a micro-chip or something," he replied.

"Weren't we?" I raised an eyebrow.

DongMin paused. "Am I going to lose you?"

"Forever. This is the last time I'm going to agonize about us anymore DongMin. I'm tired and I'm over it. Unless you say something to convince me, today is the last day I'm going to cry about us. No more chances DongMin. Chances are for sillies who think fools like you will change," I said. "I'm so ready to move on from this, but you're not."

For a while there was nothing but silence that surrounded us.

----------------

I was introduced to Banana Pancakes by Solangel three years ago. Like anyone who have read the story, we all got attached to the characters: we laughed with them, cried with them and smiled at what seemed to be a one of a kind friendship/relationship. Fast forward to three years today, i was re-reading the story last night and when i got to chapter twenty four, it had my name written all over it. Coincidence? I'm not sure. But this is exactly how i feel at the moment. Word by word. I also wish for things to be simple, whether the outcome is good or bad because while my broken heart is easy to mend, it's a lot harder not having that person in my life anymore...

And for those who are curious, Banana Pancakes does not have a happy ending.

©Solangel. Disclaimer: I do not own the story. This belong to its rightful owner. Copyright Infringement is never intended.

The simple things

In some odd ways, i find that we all tend to accept the insignificant things that bother us than it is to take notice of the special little moments in our daily lives. I greatly accept with defeat as i am one to acknowledge this fact. It may be a surprise to some as i do not show it as much, but i am proud to say that i pay more attention to the simple things that make me smile. I've narrowed it down to a list of top ten.

1. When people thank me after offering my seat in the bus.

2. When i find the perfect pair of shoes and the perfect accessories to go with my perfect outfit.

3. When i'd always find a place to be whenever i'm not feeling well.

4. When i find money in places i had forgotten about.

5. When i'm done baking or cooking and the kitchen smells the result of my great efforts.

6. When my mom tries to speak french/english to me.

7. When the light first dim at the beginning of a movie.

8. When he calls saying that he's in front of the house.

9. When i climb under covers that have been freshly washed.

10. When i take my first spoonful of strawberry ice cream right out of the carton.

What are the simple things that makes you happy? :)

Kelly Cutrone

I love this woman.

Mina & Tae Jun

“I wish I could fly.” Tae Jun said out of nowhere – breaking the silence around us.

“Huh?” I turned my head and looked at him. One minute ago he looked like he was about to pound the poor dukbokki guy who did nothing but selling dukbokki on a evening night and now he was telling me he wanted to fly? Something was wrong.

“Tae Jun – Are you drunk?”

Tae Jun slightly arched his eyebrows. “No. Do I look drunk?”

“How am I supposed to know? The Park Tae Jun I know would never say corny things like–”

“Yah babo. Let me finish what I have to say.”

Tae Jun had cut me before I even had a good laugh at him. I was so caught up that I didn’t realize he was really serious this time. Taking it as a warning and not wanting to burst his bubble again, I decided shut up and let him talk.

“When I was little, my mom used to read Peter Pan to me before going to bed. We would all grow to become adults in the future, right? But now – I think I understand why Peter doesn’t want to grow up.” He paused and let a deep sigh before continuing again. “You know, I didn’t have a normal childhood like the other kids around my age. Ever since the day I was born, I was taught to take responsibilities. I was taught to know that one day I would become a grown up – A grown up that will take over his father’s company and have his entire family rely on him. Just like that, my childhood was tinted. This is why I wish I could fly – I wish I could fly to Never Never Land and never come back.”

From the moment he talked I couldn’t get myself to take my eyes off him. Sure his sudden change of mood took me by surprise but I was more intrigued than confused. What he said was sincere and for the first time, I felt his pain. All of this came from his heart. His story drew me in.

My heart was racing at a ridiculous fast pace. So fast that it felt like it was about to leap out of my chest. Millions of things were going through my head and a strange knot started forming in my stomach. The knot was growing bigger and bigger as I listened to him unfolding his life by the second.

“Tae Jun I – I think I love you…” I managed to say loud enough so I could divert his attention.

To be honest I didn’t know what went through my mind the moment I said it. Somehow, deep down, I knew that I couldn’t let the chance slipped away. They say actions mean more than words. In my case, my words were what I had to rely on in order to show what I’ve been feeling this entire time. I guess in a way, I was showing Tae Jun that I really cared for him and that I was there by his side. The more time I spent with him, the more permanent he became in my heart.

Just as I gulped my embarrassment down, Tae Jun, looking even more serious this time, stared back at me and sighed.

“Are you drunk babo?”

“…”

I blinked once. I blinked twice. My jaw dropped and I was utterly speechless. Park Tae Jun had knocked me off my seat. This guy simply knew how to ruin the moment. And after all this time of gathering my guts to confess to him, he asked me if I was the one who was drunk?! ‘He couldn’t possibly be taking my words just like that…could he?’ I thought to myself.

“Wh–What did you just say?”

“Telling someone you love them shouldn’t be taken so lightly. Love is a very serious and hard word to say.”

“Yah! You think I would go around and tell random people that I love them?! Seriously Tae Jun, you think this is a joke? You think I’m bluffing?”

“Look, all I’m trying to say is that when you tell someone you love them it’s like telling them – it’s like telling them ‘I have cancer’ ”

“…And your point is?”

“You don’t tell someone you have cancer unless you REALLY mean it.”

I was completely deflated and I was about to loose my mind. I wanted to mentally slap myself for saying what I just said. I didn’t even know why I was wasting my time debating about what’s been said to him when mister can’t even comprehend the message. Therefore, to save myself from any other forms of embarrassment I decided to do what I’m best at: walking away.

I stood up from the bench and started walking away from him. I guess the more time I spent with Tae Jun, the crazier I’ve become. ‘What in the world was I thinking confessing to a stupid Peter Pan wannabe I-should-be-flattered-a-girl-confessed-her-love-to-me jerk’.

“Wait, Mina.”

“WHAT?!”

I wasn’t able to take more than three steps when a hand gripped onto my left arm, jerking me back to my spot. My heart, that was skipping at an incredibly fast pace because of the frustration building inside, stopped as soon as a set of soft brown eyes stared into mine.

It really amazes me how his eyes were able to take my breath away and hypnotizes me into staring at them forever. Tae Jun must have known by now that he possessed that kind of power because at that moment he was using it against my weakness and quite frankly, he was really good at it.

After what seemed like an eternity of playing at the staring game, I felt very conscious of what was going on that I looked away. Tae Jun grabbed my two arms – this time bringing me closer to him. As soon as I felt his breath inches from my face, he took both of his hands and placed them of my face, cupping my cheeks. He made me looked directly in his eyes once more before smiling reassuringly.

“I have cancer.” He said in a comforting whisper.

------

Another short story written by yours truly four years ago and probably the cheesiest of the bunch (haha). Back in high school, i would always write a new story during my summer vacation of that year. But ever since i started college, i've been on author's block and i've lost all inspiration. I'm a bit bummed out that I lost all of my stories because i had to reformat my entire hard drive thinking the guy would only fix parts of it. This short was the only one i had on my usb key, whereas a bunch of prologues are in there too.

I miss writing, but knowing the kind of person that i am, i lack in the idea and the update department *cough*thisblog*cough* But we'll see. I might reconsider writing again if motivation and time are given to me. Btw, Lee Seung Gi and Han Hyo Joo are flipping amazing together!!! If you haven't seen it yet, Shining Inheritance is a must watch drama. What in this world can make my manly brother cry? Oh yeah, this drama did! :D I had to post the vid because I find it fitting to my story above (hehe)

She's the best

I remember back in high school, i use to think the world revolved around me. Attention seeking teen? Yes, but it was not the case. I had a hard time breaking out of my barrier so i felt trapped and threw all my anger against those who were closest to me, especially my mother. Now that i think of it, she must have suffered a lot during those years because of me.

I'm bad at expressing my feelings and displaying my affection in front the people that i love so i always end up guarding them. Since it's mothers day today, i would like to take this chance to say i love you and i'm sorry, mom. I know i haven't been the greatest of a daughter to you these past years, but you have been more than an amazing mother to me. I am blessed to have you by my side. Because of you, i have become the person that i am today. I am thankful to have you my side when i needed you. I appreciate our occasional late night conversations over tea and sweets when the "men" in the household are asleep; I cherish those times the most. There are times when i questioned myself how do you coop with this crazy-loud-tantrum-thrower child of yours, but your the only adult that gets me. Like they say, mothers know best. Thank you for everything, mom. You're my hero, my inspiration... :)

<3

Lucky 13

I wore no.13 proudly today. Michael Cammalleri, you're amazing :) Sidney Crosby, you are cute and talented nonetheless, but your team is going down on tuesday (lol). Go Habs Go!!!

Kon Tee Wai Jai...Rai Tee Soot