Well Done

It's moment like this where I simply wish that life was not cruel and that it can give good people a second chance.

I would have to say I'm more in denial than anything right now because I still cannot believe at how fast everything happened. Learned about the news last month. Received a message at the beginning of the week. Got a phone call early this morning.

I shouldn't have taken the situation for granted. I should have taken minutes of my precious time to go see him and let him know that I was there. I should have been there to properly say goodbye and accept the upcoming grief. Even though I know my uncle is in a good place right now, I simply wish I could have spent more time with him while he was still here.

RIP pa um. I'm sorry and I miss you.

"For the benefit of all sentient beings which surpasses even the wishful-filling gem
May I hold them dear at all times." - Buddhist text

Grew to Love Him

I was in the car with my parents the other day on our way to have lunch when this song came on the radio. It definitely brought back a lot of childhood memories. Has it already been more than 20 years? My father was singing along to the song in a bad broken English, while my mother was laughing helplessly at him. Right then, at that moment I saw the love that they had for each other and I couldn't help but envy them. Despite the unusual circumstance on how they met and came to marry each other, I admire my mother for the decision she took.

When i asked her how she felt now, she answered: "I don't believe in equality. There will always be one person in that relationship who will love the other one more. You have to feel granted of what this person is able to bring you; happiness being one of them. I grew to love him because of this and it was a risk worth taken."

Day 4 - Forever & Always

Day 4 - Your favorite photographs of your best friends.

S and W are the sisters i've never had. I remember in elementary school, we used to hate each other...don't really know the reason why (haha). Through our teen years, we bonded like crazy clue. We have gone through the toughest times together during those years, but still held the most genuine friendship. There are times when we do have our disagreements, but what makes our relationship special is our understanding towards each other. The first picture was taken at W's house. That day, all 3 of us had to go to the temple for a ceremony dressed up in traditional Cambodian attire. The second picture is my absolute favorite one; my 17th birthday. You can simply see how much we love each other :)

If there's a friendship that surprises until this day; this would be it. Friends for over 20 years; P is more than just my ordinary guy friend. Calling him family is not right either because we both know that our friendship is far more than that. We have gone through A LOT, and i mean if there is one person that had often pisses me off in my life, he is the one. Yet, i know that if i were to lose him, a big part of me would go as well. It's those type of relationship/friendship that is really hard to describe, but only the two of you know.

Resolutions

I thought i could get myself not writing one, but i get influenced most of the time. Everyone wrote theirs and i felt odd not having mine posted. I hate being on a bandwagon, but this just shows you how human and nonindependent i am (dang!). I guess i should see this as a blogging basic...

I have never taken new year's resolution seriously. That is mostly because i don't follow it. Punctuality and procrastination were the resolutions last year...and i failed within the first few weeks, the same day! I told myself that maybe those were not the best resolutions. This year, i'm confident of my goals. I'm actually looking forward to make an improvement and to change. Believe it or not, i made a lot of mistakes in 2010. Although there are moments that i will never forget and that i cherish a lot (hence the much needed trip to Asia), this made realize how unnecessary it was for me to put myself on an emotional turmoil all throughout last year. I want to start fresh. I should press the restart button. Smile more often. Put my worries and concerns aside. Live life to its fullest.

1) Become the best sister: Last year, my siblings and i hit rock bottom. I've never been so disappointed in myself. Mistakes done, lessons learned. I would like to rebuilt the relationship that i have with my brothers. Try and be there for them whenever they need me and work on our communications because i highly doubt they need another "mother" figure in the household.

2) Spend less money on food: So far i can say that i'm proud of myself. I've been spending less money eating out now. I tried calculating the amount of money i spent on food last year, and the numbers are crazy! It will be a bit hard considering that i'm the type of person who really enjoys the casual wine and dine at a nice restaurant once in a while. I'm not stopping myself from doing so, but i will cut back on the little spending such as drinks, lunches and snacks.

3) Engage in a physical activity: The last time i was practicing a physical activity was 3 years ago, my last PE class in college. Since, i've been feeling so out of shape. It doesn't really help when you're a big procrastinator and lazy. This year i want to change that. One of my co-worker have talked me into taking yoga classes and it really got me interested. I'm currently looking at few studios in Montreal and even got my bff wanting to take the classes with me. I'm quite excited about this one :)

4) Drink more water: -Here-

5) Fashion blog more often: I admit that the last few months, i have lost touch with my fashion insights. The main idea behind my blog when i first started it was to give readers my pov on art and fashion and to incorporate that with my daily life. I feel like bonjootea has become more of a personal diary of my life than anything. I really miss fashion blogging. But i'm not worried; you'll be reading a lot soon because NY Fashion Week is approaching soon (Feb.10th-17th). I'm starting a countdown!

*BONUS* Press the restart button: I've been hung up on the same problems over and over again. If pressing the restart button is what it takes for me to attain happiness, then this is what i need to work on the most. I now believe that letting go is not an option, but working with what i can and can't have, i can strive for some emotional honesty. I shouldn't be afraid to say what's on my mind and show that i also deserve what's best for me.

Holidays

This holiday season, i couldn't have asked for more than to simply spend some quality time with the people that i love. Although Christmas this year is less festive than last year, i'm very thankful to have my family and friends by my side to share the joy, the laughter and the happiness. It's not about the gifts, but about those moments that makes the holiday season a memorable one.

Have a happy and safe holiday everyone! :)

She's the best

I remember back in high school, i use to think the world revolved around me. Attention seeking teen? Yes, but it was not the case. I had a hard time breaking out of my barrier so i felt trapped and threw all my anger against those who were closest to me, especially my mother. Now that i think of it, she must have suffered a lot during those years because of me.

I'm bad at expressing my feelings and displaying my affection in front the people that i love so i always end up guarding them. Since it's mothers day today, i would like to take this chance to say i love you and i'm sorry, mom. I know i haven't been the greatest of a daughter to you these past years, but you have been more than an amazing mother to me. I am blessed to have you by my side. Because of you, i have become the person that i am today. I am thankful to have you my side when i needed you. I appreciate our occasional late night conversations over tea and sweets when the "men" in the household are asleep; I cherish those times the most. There are times when i questioned myself how do you coop with this crazy-loud-tantrum-thrower child of yours, but your the only adult that gets me. Like they say, mothers know best. Thank you for everything, mom. You're my hero, my inspiration... :)

<3

Hobo hunting

The funniest thing happen this weekend. The weather was great on Saturday and for once i didn't sleep in. I woke up early that morning and had breakfast with my parents. One of my brother was working, while the other one was at his tutoring class so it was a quiet morning. Around noon my parents and i went out to do some grocery shopping. So in the car ride to the grocery store, Jai Ho by the Pussycat Dolls came up on the radio.

Mom: "What kind of song is this? It's so vulgar." (in khmer)

Me: "It's the english remake song from the movie Slumdog. You know, that indian movie we watched together."

Mom: "I know that. But why are they saying bad words?"

Me: "Huh? I don't hear bad words..."

Mom: "Wait, listen for it. See, right there at that part he's saying something bad! Shouln't they be censoring this?"

Me: "All i'm hearing is 'Jai Ho', mom."

Mom: "That's exactly what i'm saying. He's saying 'Giant H*e!' "

Me: "..."

Mom: "You see! He's saying it again. 'Giant H*eeee!!!' "

Me: *knock down*

Moving along. I got my copy of Twilight last week! Finally i'll get to watch my hobo sparkle on my TV screen. I know that i've read the books after watching the movie but the books were a bijillion times better than the movie. I guess it had to do with it being low budget and skimmed threw since the books were based on Bella's perpective. But then again, most movies don't always turn out to be like what they were in the books. They had a 3 disc collectors version at HMV but i'm content with my 2 disc one. The special features were fun to watch and i would do anything to listen to Rob talk with his English accent in the commentary part. It is drool worthy. Since i'm already talking about Twilight, the cast are in Vancouver BC and is currently filming New Moon. In Vancouver, Canada. ON MY EFFING CANADIAN GROUNDS!?! -sigh- Good thing i have a friend there. I'm having her go on a stalking expedition haha. She have reported finding the filming location but no signs of my hobo. As for the rest of the cast, she said some of them were spotted walking around downtown a few weeks back. I told her to stalk most of the coffee shoppe around dt. Maybe she'll bump into him ;)

Rob out and about around dt, Vancouver looking hot!!!

Edward Cullen comeback <3

*pictures credited to celebrity-gossip.net

En Bref

1- I lack in the update department but i'm still alive and living one hell of an exciting life (hence the sarcasm, thank you very much.)

2- School is pitiful.

3- Bank account is down to two digits. Crap!

4- Curse the work place.

5- Chris Brown and Rihanna...what the eff?!

6- My love for a hobo has not died yet :D

On vday, i had dinner with M. We were totally against the idea of it being a 'lovers' day so we decided to the spend the day together as happy singles. Those were our initial thoughts but as we had dinner, we felt hopeless. Being surrounded by couples on that particular day wasn't the greatest idea. Nonetheless, we both had a great time. Dinner was exquisite. We went to a thai vegetarian restaurant where my cousin works on St.Denis called Chu Chai. It was actually my first time eating there but i've tasted the food before. I still can't believe we didn't have meat. Everything looked and tasted so real! After dinner we headed across the street for dessert at Rockaberry. Despite feeling gloomy that day, i still received roses at the end of the evening, from my little brother. Yes i know, he's adorable (:

@ ChuChai

M taking a bite at the entrée.

Entrées (l to r): Mango+cashew salad, fried vegetable dumpling drizzled with a sweet&sour sauce, crispy tangy rice noodles and spicy vegeterian duck lab (Lab Pet) bouchée on endive.

Main course #1: Braise vegeterian duck glazed in a sweet soy sauce with fried spinach and basil leaves.


Main course #2: Vegeterian seafood thai curry stir fry in a pineapple served with jasmine rice.


Desserts: Pomegranate and passion fruit jelly with diced mango, pandan flavored sticky rice topped wih a coconut mousse, tapioca pudding and fruits. The dessert was served with a thai tamarin tea mmm...

@ Rockaberry;

Café moka and Raspberry fudge cheese pie (mouthwatering goodness!!!)


Yellow roses for myself and pink ones for my mom from the little brother (:

Time Machine

Wow. That was some post i left last evening. Somehow i just had to let it out and it felt really nice to write about it. In all the heat of my frustration last night, it made me realise that i miss having my close friends and my family around. Most of my friends are busy with their own hectic schedule and i barely saw them during the holidays. I've been missing my family back in the US a lot too. I always feel warm and well surrounded when i'm with them. I've been feeling the need to see them again and to spend some times with them. Since both of my cousins birthday is coming up next month and that i only have one class this semester, i thought about visiting them.

There are times when i wish i had time machine. Some would use it to fix mistakes while others would be curious and look at their future. With my time machine i would probably go back to the days where i was the happiest. I would go back to the days when i had no responsibilities and that nap times were required in 'school'. I really miss being a kid. Two weeks ago, a couple of my co-workers and i headed to the movies after work. We watched 'The Curious Case of Benjamin Button'. We all left the movie theater speechless, mesmerized and nostalgic. I'm not much of a film critic but for those of you who haven't seen the movie, i recommend it. It's going to have you think about life. I know i thought about mine.

***

''Childhood is not from birth to a certain age and at a certain age
The child is grown, and puts away childish things.
Childhood is the kingdom where nobody dies.''

-Edna St. Vincent Millay