Morning

Ever watched a horror movie and get pissed at that one character who would still open the door even though we know that he/she knows that death is waiting for them in the other room?

Til this day, i still ask myself what led me into giving in. I should have been stopped. I should have been warned. I should have listened. I had the choices and the options. Yet like that character in the horror flick, i opened that door anyway. Why? Because at that time, it felt right. I've always believed of myself to be smart but when it comes to situation like these, the lingering feelings always take over the good/bad judgements.

That morning i woke up to a quiet, unfamiliar room. There were barely any lights; it was cloudy outside. Although it claimed to be welcoming, i felt less than welcomed to this place. After registering whatever i was seeing around me, it took me less than thirty seconds to remember all the events from the night before. None of it was vague. It was still very clear. Maybe too clear. I rolled over to the other side of the bed. The pillows were untouched. That side of the bed was cold. It dawned on me. It was empty and i was alone. I dragged myself to the bathroom, into the bathtub and turned on the shower. My entire body seeped the heat of the hot water. I sank into my deepest thoughts and my tears, just as hot as the water itself, got mixed in the process. Every thing i felt at that moment, came crashing on top of me at 1,000 mph. For that time only, i allowed myself to cry until i had nothing left to cry about. I did not cry because there was regret nor because there was any form of pain associated to what happened. I cried because i know i did nothing wrong, we did nothing wrong. I cried because i still have hope, in something even better. I cried because an amazing girl like myself deserve to have that person next to her when she wakes up in the morning.